There’s been a lot of chatter about the relationship between game developers and Youtubers lately, so as a responsible, professional organisation, we just wanted to clarify our position on the subject. Please find our Youtuber guidelines below.
- Youtubers must maximise the number of cakes they send to us, particularly during the “week of cake”.
- Youtubers must persuade, nay, instruct their viewers to:
- Purchase our game.
- Send us cake.
- Perform a showtune with their friends.
- Pretend to be a pirate one day a week.
- Try to convince people that they are invisible.
- No bugs or glitches may be shown. In fact, if a Youtuber discovers a bug or glitch, they agree to undertake several years of further education and training in order to fix the bug or glitch themselves.
- Youtubers must discuss the story elements of all of our games. Not just on your video review, but also with people you meet on the street, your bus driver, at least 3 police officers and a lion tamer.
- All games reviewed must be allocated a score of 10/10.
- Screw that. We want 11/10. And 5 gold stars. AND a tick. Green preferably.
- However, your review sentiment must be entirely negative. Just to confuse people.
- The video must contain 5 instances of you saying “Look ma, I’m on TV!”.
- If any of your subscribers leaves a negative comment on the video, you must respond with the statement, “I think someone needs a hug”.
- You must not use the letter Q.
- Review copies will not be provided for free. Instead, Youtubers must perform an increasingly difficult series of tasks ala The Crystal Maze. The winner will receive a review copy. Everyone else gets a pack of M&Ms. Last place has to buy lunch for everyone.
- Blazing Griffin has final approval of all videos, and the right to stand in the background pulling faces while you film them.
- Any references to Blazing Griffin must be preceded with the phrase, “those spectacular human beings at”.
- In the eventuality that we create a game based on a film, that’s based on a book – you must not mention the book. Or the characters in the book. And only half of the characters from the film. But we get to decide which half. And won’t tell you.
- Failure to comply with these guidelines means we’ll unfollow you on Twitter and stop sending you Xmas cards. We’re still cool on FB though.
Seriously, marketing people are the worst.
Scott Boyd, Marketing Manager